I was fearful.
I was insecure.
I was chasing an ideal that was destructive.
This is the story of my eating disorder.
It started in my childhood with this simple lie: “Being pretty is important.” As I chased an unobtainable ideal, another seed was planted within my heart: “In order to be pretty, you must be skinny.”
It may sound trivial or trite but this singular idea dominated my thinking, decisions and focus for the better portion of my school age years.
This twisted truth first germinated in my heart during grade school. While I was learning how to make friendship bracelets and play dodgeball, I was simultaneously watching my mom fight an ever-shifting battle with food. Seeing her ongoing struggle with weight impacted me at a root level and I proactively determined that her reality would not become my future.