be not dismayed

The sky is my living room.  The woods are my parlor.  The lonely lake is my bath.  I can’t remain behind a fence all my life. ~Louie from The Trumpet of the Swan

Not long ago the seed of an idea started growing in our hearts.  The concept was simply to loosen our grip on the things that claim so much of our time, money and attention in order to open up our hands to more reaching out and our hearts to embracing things with more eternal value. As this thought pattern matured we began praying and asking God to show us how to respond.  Though many prayers and deep soul searching, a collective and consistent series of events pointed us in the direction of putting our home on the market and waiting for God to respond in His time.

And then He did. He waited and chose not to sell our house in the first few days like I anticipated. He waited and chose not to sell it to the first people who looked at our house as I expected. He waited, allowing me to stand on the water and feel the wind and temptation to take my eyes of the Savior. He waited, allowing me to sit in the wilderness for a time and choose to trust (over and over again) instead of fear.  He reminded me that He is in charge. He gets to make the calls. He alone gets to decide the timeline of my life.  I get to follow. I get to obey. I get to trust. Once again He is moving and leading and we are doing our best to step one foot further into His plan. Continue reading “be not dismayed”

still here

I’m still here–both literally and figuratively. About three months ago I came head-on with the fact that in all the uncertainty of our future, my only job was to trust.  I haven’t written in the past few months because my job description has remained the same, the status of our house is unchanged and it isn’t easy to write about nothing on a consistent basis (unless of course your name ends in Seinfeld).

That said, “nothing” is not entirely accurate.  We did have a recent burst of excitement that eventually fizzled into nothing. We had our first (and only) house showing on Halloween and a few days later the same couple came back for a second look.  Leading up to the news of this first showing, both Trent and I had really settled into the fact that this process might take a while, that our house might not sell until spring, if at all.  We had analyzed the situation from every possible angle and carefully chosen the key elements to focus on in order to highlight the benefits of ‘not moving’.  As one friend stated, “mentally, I’ve taken your house off the market”.  Continue reading “still here”

i get to trust

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. -Corrie Ten Boom

So there is this little issue big trust problem that I’ve been dealing with concerning the sale of our house (and the fact that it isn’t selling). I’ve been praying and processing this “wait time” and I’ve come to realize that I need to get over myself.  See here is the thing: God is in charge.  God gets to make the calls.  God gets to decide time timeline of my life.  I get to follow.  I get to obey.  I get to trust.  Let’s consider a few sample case studies:One: God promises Abraham descendants in his old age and then waits over 25 years to fulfill His promise.  (Genesis 12:2-3)

About 10 years after “the promise” Abraham and Sarah grow tired of waiting, they start to question and doubt.  They take their eyes off of God and reason that they can do things on their own and as a result, they invite sin into their marriage, they create chaos. (Genesis 16)  Yet God is faithful and fulfills His promise. . . just much later than Abraham must have anticipated.

Two: God led the Israelites out of captivity, directly into the desert (Exodus 15:22). Meaning they were slaves and then God set them free. . . into the barren wilderness.

That seems strange doesn’t it?  Why release someone from slavery only to set them free in a place of nothingness?  I believe that part of the reason is that the Israelites had become accustomed to the life of slavery and God knew they were venerable and prone to apostasy.  He was teaching them a lesson in trust and dependence. Continue reading “i get to trust”

bigger God needed

All glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.  Ephesians 3:20

The Grand Canyon

God’s best for us is often better than we can ask for.  I’ve been thinking about this truth and how it can apply in my life and also in the lives of those I read about in the Bible.  First to mind was Adam and his paradise home located on brand-spankin’-new planet earth.  I’ve pondered the lush fauna and flora (I just learned the difference between the two this past year–thank you homeschooling), and I’ve decided that if we can enjoy breathtaking landscapes like the Grand Canyon on this post-sin earth, my mind can’t even conceive hypothetical sin-free beauty.

It would seem that Adam was pretty set with physical perfection and intimate closeness with God.  Yet God (not Adam), recognized and expressed the deep need Adam had for a helper (Genesis 2:20-21).  God, the first inventor, created and presented the exact thing that Adam needed but couldn’t produce or even imagine on his own. God knew Adam so well that he was anticipating needs and initiating provision before they were requested.  Isn’t that beautiful?

Sometimes I struggle to comprehend that the same provider God of the Old Testament is still present in 2014.  Sometimes I have higher expectations for my Old Testament God than I do for my personal Savior God.  It sounds strange, even perhaps a tad sacrilegious to admit it, but it’s true.  My God is not nearly big enough.  Although I know theoretically that He can do anything, I am consistently putting limits on what I think He will do.  It can be downright embarrassing at times.  Like when He answers prayers I forgot to pray, or provides for things I never got around to asking for, or moves in ways I would not have even fathomed to envision.  In times like this, I am caught with my mouth slightly open and a dazed look on my face thinking, “Wait a minute, how did you. . . why I never even. . . hey, you moved without me. . . wow, that was awesome.” Continue reading “bigger God needed”