faith escarpment | Hamilton, Ontario

Our truck’s old engine is out and the replacement is ready to go in. Mr. Mechanic is hard on the job. We are left playing the waiting game.

A sunny forecast beckons us to pass the time outside. I pack a lunch, the kids change into swimming suits, and we all climb in the van. Continue reading “faith escarpment | Hamilton, Ontario”

i choose to trust | lessons in faith

It’s morning. The day after the roadside storm that ended with our truck in the shop and us in an unexpected place of surrender.

Before my eyes adjust to the light streaming through my bedside window, I hear the birds. They are happy, flamboyant, carefree. Their jovial song serves as a strong reminder:

“Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns—and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his lifespan?…Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:26-27, 2”

The truth is stronger than morning coffee. Thus my day begins with this simple prayer, “Lord, instead of worry, today I choose to trust in You. Remind me of that choice should I waver.

Continue reading “i choose to trust | lessons in faith”

sitting in quiet surrender | somewhere in Ontario

Just West of Lake Ontario, our hazard lights blink-blink-blink as the freeway traffic rushes past us, sending the vehicles into small sideways rocking motions. The truck, whose engine has been whispering notions of discontent for the past few hundred miles, has acted like a toddler and erupted into a full-blown tantrum. We are perched like birds on the shoulder of the road.

Continue reading “sitting in quiet surrender | somewhere in Ontario”

still here

I’m still here–both literally and figuratively. About three months ago I came head-on with the fact that in all the uncertainty of our future, my only job was to trust.  I haven’t written in the past few months because my job description has remained the same, the status of our house is unchanged and it isn’t easy to write about nothing on a consistent basis (unless of course your name ends in Seinfeld).

That said, “nothing” is not entirely accurate.  We did have a recent burst of excitement that eventually fizzled into nothing. We had our first (and only) house showing on Halloween and a few days later the same couple came back for a second look.  Leading up to the news of this first showing, both Trent and I had really settled into the fact that this process might take a while, that our house might not sell until spring, if at all.  We had analyzed the situation from every possible angle and carefully chosen the key elements to focus on in order to highlight the benefits of ‘not moving’.  As one friend stated, “mentally, I’ve taken your house off the market”.  Continue reading “still here”

i get to trust

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. -Corrie Ten Boom

So there is this little issue big trust problem that I’ve been dealing with concerning the sale of our house (and the fact that it isn’t selling). I’ve been praying and processing this “wait time” and I’ve come to realize that I need to get over myself.  See here is the thing: God is in charge.  God gets to make the calls.  God gets to decide time timeline of my life.  I get to follow.  I get to obey.  I get to trust.  Let’s consider a few sample case studies:One: God promises Abraham descendants in his old age and then waits over 25 years to fulfill His promise.  (Genesis 12:2-3)

About 10 years after “the promise” Abraham and Sarah grow tired of waiting, they start to question and doubt.  They take their eyes off of God and reason that they can do things on their own and as a result, they invite sin into their marriage, they create chaos. (Genesis 16)  Yet God is faithful and fulfills His promise. . . just much later than Abraham must have anticipated.

Two: God led the Israelites out of captivity, directly into the desert (Exodus 15:22). Meaning they were slaves and then God set them free. . . into the barren wilderness.

That seems strange doesn’t it?  Why release someone from slavery only to set them free in a place of nothingness?  I believe that part of the reason is that the Israelites had become accustomed to the life of slavery and God knew they were venerable and prone to apostasy.  He was teaching them a lesson in trust and dependence. Continue reading “i get to trust”